Lord of the Banana: Two Banana Towers
by Oakland
Summary: [Sequel to Fellowship of the Banana] parody thingy me and my friend are writing out of bordom, CokeAIDS, candy, cookies, and Taco Bell.... weirder in my opinion...


Kuraishi: Alright! I get the opener! . heh… Anyway… This is chapter one of Lord of the Banana: Two Banana Towers..

Tarenya: We hope that you enjoy this one as much as the other…. . grabs more pop-corn ready for round two?

Kuraishi: Hell's yeah!

Disclaimer: Kit and Tar do not own the Lord of the Rings or any other the characters accept the ones they own… (Oddly specific) They do not own Taco Bell or RadioShack either…

Tar and Kit: AND ON WE GO!

Tar: Lights! Camera!

Kit: BANANA'S!

* * *

"Baka" 

"Baka"

"Baka"

"Baka"

Sam rolled his eyes as Tarenya and Kuraishi resumed their arguing. Frodo looked up from his spot on Sam's newly acquired rope. It was very lovely. The rope's exquisite workings aggravated everyone, even Sam. The rope was---

"PLEASE TUNR IN FOR THIS SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT." An announcer says out of nowhere. I am greatly saddened by hearing this news but overly joyed by giving it!" The announcer smiles, pure ecstasy on her face. "The narrator for this trilogy has been run over and killed as he was narrating and crossing the street. I repeat: he has been killed."

" O.O; Do we go on?" Frodo asks as Tar and Kit start down again.

"Yes… just… uhh… umm…we'll figure something out…" Kit says as she lets go of the rope and lands safely on the ground.

"The bunnies can do it! The bunnies can do it!" Tarenya screams as she lands next to Kit.

"What? The evil bunnies? They can't do it and you know it…"

"The bunnies can do it! THE BUNNIES CAN DO IT!"

Kit smacked Tarenya and was about to say something when she heard a snap. They both held out there arms, not knowing where Frodo and Sam would fall. Tarenya safely caught Frodo but Kuraishi was squashed under Sam's weight.

"Ghbd bdfr thea gbdh ropth mnlpq aetrp!" She screamed. Sam struggles, but with Frodo and Tarenya's help, gets off Kit. Kit is flat… Very… very… Flat…. ((Kit: Glares))

"Kit! What did you say you freaking baka!" Tarenya yells as she helps Kit up.

"I saw mother waving at me at the end of a bright tunnel…"

Sam sighs and looks back up at the rope. "Hey! It's not even broken! That's bogus! A rip-off! A RIP-OFF I SAY!"

"Well… What happened then? Why did I hear a snap?" Kit asks.

Frodo shrugs. "All I know is that one minute I'm fine and the next I have a Samwise Gamgee barreling down on top of me…"

Everyone looked at Sam. He blushed, "I had to pee, REEEEELY badly… so I did…. And I slipped because of it… But I can't explain the snap…"

Kit's face paled as she stared at Sam then down at her clothes. "EWWWWWW!" She screams.

"Wait, Kit! Wait!" Tarenya yells.

"What?"

"I don't think Sam's… erm… yeah… on you is your biggest problem.

"And why the heck not?"

"No one can explain the snap you heard. Therefore someone is following us…"

"Oh… Right…"

Frodo sighs and starts off. "We have a long way to go. Best we just forget about that till later." Sam and Tarenya run after him. Kuraishi glares at the rope.

"Stupid rope…." She growls and grabs it, "We might need this again." She yanks on it and it falls down on top of her.

* * *

"A-Aragorn? What are you doing?" Gimli asks as he cries for Borimir's death. 

"We must go after Merry and Pippin! They need our help… Though I don't mind the thought of Pippin dying… Or Merry for that mater…"

Legolas smiled evilly. "Neither do I…"

Gimli lets out a soul-shattering wail. "Borimir had done so much for me! SO MUCH!"

Everyone: O.O

* * *

Merry and Pippin are drunk with the-evil-carrot-throwing-top-hat-wearing-bunnies-from-Mordork-forest-of-doomy-doom-doom-doom.

* * *

Announcer: The following is a commercial break! Smiles and runs off

* * *

A thud, followed by a slam and a scream. Kuraishi walks in with a book, sits at a desk, and begins writing. "Dear Diary… Today I fell down a hill, got thrown into a wall and got stabbed! I couldn't be happier! Sam also looked mighty fine today! And Kuraishi is preety…" She smiles, "Signed, Frodo." 

Tarenya walks in, "What are you doing, Kit?"

"Just making an entry in Frodo's diary…."

"Frodo has a diary?"

Kit nodded, "Yup… And it's pink and fuzzy!" She holds it up.

"OOooooOOO! Lemme read!" She grabs the diary and starts reading. "Kuraishi is Preety?"

"What?" She shrugs, "I couldn't help it!"

"You wrote it all over a whole page!"

"NO!" She looks at her confused, "Let me see that…." She takes it back and begins to flip through the pages, stopping and scanning them once in a while. "Oh wow… Good thing you didn't read the next one… It's about you…." Keeps reading.

"What does it say?"

Kit closed the book. "You don't want to know…" She pales.

Tarenya screams and they both run off, dropping the diary. Frodo casually walks in, staring at the two girls confused as they run by. "Oh! There's my diary!" He picks it up. "I was looking for you! Oh yes I was!" He turns to a blank page, "Now what should I write about today… hmm… Oh! I know!" He takes out a pencil and starts to write, "Dear Diary… My Dear Darling Sam looked wonderful today!" He skips off.

* * *

A horde of Orcs run into the Evil-Bunnies camp and take Merry and Pippin.

* * *

"Lays! Get yo smile on!" Gimli began to dance along with his mini portable T.V. 

"Erm… Gimli… We should start looking for Merry…. And Pippin…" Legolas said, equally entranced by his Mini portable T.V. with PS2 hook-up.

"Don't interrupt me! Don't you realize that I just invented the first commercialized jingle!"

Legolas shrugged. "Wow… They used great graphics in this game!"

"Which game?"

"Lord of the Banana, Two Banana Towers…. I mean look! The words are coming up on the screen, as I'm saying them!"

Announce: Everyone Gasped.

Evil-Bunnies: Gasp!

Orcs: Gasp!

Random Deep Voiced Man: Gasp!

Announce: Everyone stared at the Random Deep Voiced Man. O.o

Evil-Bunnies: stares at deep voiced man

Orcs: stares at deep voiced man

Random Deep Voiced Man: stares at self

Announce: Everyone backs away…

Evil-Bunnies: back away

Orcs: back away

Random Deep Voiced Man: back away

Announce: Everyone evil smirk dies…

Everyone: leaves

Announcer: Awwww….

* * *

Kuraishi gasped as she began to run in circles. "The end is near!" 

Tarenya stared at her confused, "Nani, Kit?"

"We are all going to die!"

Rocks fall nearby.

"Kit, don't tell me you're psychic now…"

Kit shook her head, "No…. The rocks were caused by….." Dramatic pause, "GOLLUM!" Ba ba ba baaaaaaaaaaa!

Everyone Gasps.

Everyone: GASP!

The announcer shoots himself. The blood spurts everywhere and people scream in horror as his guts begin to cover them.

"Not another one!"

The blood slowly flew through the air and splattered more people

"Erm…" Gollum walks in, "Me, sir, say you, sir, say…"

"SHUT UP!" Tarenya quickly walked over and slapped Gollum.

Gollum shudders.

* * *

"Hurry up Maggot!" Sam shouted as he tugged on his preety rope. 

Gollum shrieked.

"Come Gollum!" Kuraishi yelled as she made an attempt to slap the poor creature. To her dismay she fell off balance and fell onto the rocks. "DAG NABBIT! Bag's Tar! Help me up!"

* * *

"Now…. Do we have a problem Gimli?" 

"No Aragorn…"

"How about you Legolas?"

Legolas shook his head, "Nope."

"Good…" Aragorn paced back and forth in front of the now tied up Gimli and the sad Legolas. The two mini TV's were smashed and piled on the ground. "Now… We should try and find Merry and that other boy before they are killed… Anyone have any clue where they might be?"

Gimli shook his head.

"With the Orcs, after they were captured by the Evil-Bunnies that is…" Legolas said with a smile.

"And how do you figure that, Elf?"

"The game told me…" Hr grinned.

Gimli shook his head again.

"We COULD find their exact location…. If we still had the game… which you just broke by the way…"

Aragorn let out a sigh and pulled a card from his pocket. "Go to RadioShack and get a new T.V…. But only one… And nothing else!"

Legolas took the card and went off to RadioShack…. And Taco Bell…

* * *

"I'm hungry…" 

"Sure you are…"

"No, really Tar…. I'm hungry…"

"Kit, do you see any place to eat here?"

Kit nodded, "There's a McEvilBurger over there…"

Tarenya shakes her head, "What are we going to do with you?"

_**-At McEvilBurger-**_

"Welcome to McEvilBurger, can I take your order?"

"Yeah, I'll have a number 7, supersized with a sprite, no-ice, another order of the McEvil extra crispy chicken strips, a side salad, two tacos, another supersized fries, two pies, and a small vanilla cake with strawberry filling…."

"Will that be all for you?"

She paused for a second, "Erm…. And a McCookie… What do you guys want?"

"You're going to eat all that?"

"It's a long trip…" She shrugs.

* * *

Merry slowly woke up, "Huh, what happened?" 

"Stupid human! Your tiny intelligence cannot compare to our superior intellect! You will never understand the complex equation that makes us, the Orcs, better than you!"

"Wha…?" Merry stared blankly at the Orc.

"Now! Sleep!" The Orc brought up its club and hit Merry on the head. Merry fell unconscious.

"I wish I was an Elf…." One of the orc's grumbled.

* * *

Kit plopped down onto the ground, tears swelling in her eyes. 

"What is it now?"

"They…."

"Yes?"

"They…."

"YES?"

"They-"

"What it is!"

"THEY FORGOT MY MCCOOKIE!"

Everyone: GASP!

Kit sobs.

"Then go get another one…" Tarenya sighs, "You're such a baby…"

"I am not!" She lowers her voice, "I just want my McCookie…"

"Hopeless . . . "

* * *

**_-Inside the characters minds (a small break from reality)-_**

What the characters are thinking at this moment…

Frodo: Sam…. drools

Sam: Po-Ta-Toes….. Boil 'em, Mash 'em, Stick 'em in a stew!

Tarenya: I wanna go home…

Kuraishi: My McCookie… TT

Merry: no thought

Pippin: no brain at the present

Legolas: Taco Bell, Taco Bell, Discount prices at Taco Bell!

Gimli: Smash it! Smash it!

Aragorn: Is it over yet?

Arwyn: Ow….

Gollum: Me sir Jar Jar Binks!

* * *

"Now…. Maybe if I take a right here at this rock… No, that's not it…" Kit grumbled as she glanced around, "How the hell do I get back to the McEvilBurger?" 

"You didn't get lost did you?" Tarenya tapped her foot impatiently. "I don't want to be stuck here any longer than I have to be…"

"Gollum!" Gollum yelled.

"What is it Maggot?" Sam shouted back as he kicked the poor excuse for a living being in the stomach.

"Gollum knows where the McPlace is! And how to get there! Just take the rope off of precious and Gollum will show you!"

"No! I still don't trust you!"

Kit growled, jumped forward, and began attacking Sam. She gnawed on his arm. "Do it!"

Sam shrieked, "Okay, I'll let him go… just… GET OFF MEEEE!"

Kit stood and dusted herself off, "That's better!" She smiled and untied Gollum, "Lead the way!"

**_-Back at McEvilBurger-_**

"Welcome to McEvilBurger, can I take y—"

"McCookie!"

"—Your order…?"

Tarenya walked forward, "I'm truly sorry… but there seems to be a miss understanding. You see we were here earlier and we placed a large order, and you guys forgot to give us the McCookie…"

"No Refunds, No Returns…"

"No, you see we paid for it, and we never got it…"

"No Exchanges…"

"GIVE ME MY McCOOKIE!"

"One McCookie? That'll be $3.50"

"What? That much?"

The person behind the counter nodded.

"Alright!" Kit pulled out her wallet and paid.

"While you wait would you like to take advantage of our McEvilPlace?"

Kit nodded, "Would I ever!" She turned to Tarenya, "Can I? Please please please please!"

Tar only nodded, "Go for it…"

Kit began to run towards the McEvilPlace when…..

"Order up!"

She stopped and stared at the McCookie on the counter. "But I wanted to play on the playground….." She takes the cookie…and heads for the playground once again, the cookie in her mouth!

Tarenya stares, then turns to Frodo, Sam, and Gollum. "Why don't you three head off towards Mordork? This could take a while, and I'll stay behind with her…"

* * *

"Why did you make a side trip to Taco Bell?" Aragorn asked, sighing.

"Discounts!" Legolas screamed, hitting Gimli on the head.

Gimli fell over unconscious, Aragorn sighed once again, turned around, and walked towards the two missing hobbits…. Merry and Pippin!

* * *

"The evil bunnies are here again… demanding why we haven't made it back to the tower yet…" one orc muttered to another.

That one orc shrugged. "Don't know really. Whish they'd stop." He said in return with a perfect old English accent.

Merry and Pippin where sitting behind them, the evil bunnies playing go-fish with them.

* * *

and that, my dear readers...is how the second book started... in our opinions that is...

Kuraishi: who even said you had an opinion?.!

Tarenya: i did! and there's nothing you can do about it!

Kuraishi: oh yeah?

Tarenya: yeah!

Kuraishi: lets see about that... R&R! HA! bet you didnt expect that!

Tarenya: (faints)


End file.
